How many times have we been rejected before we even stated our request? I bet we all don’t get exactly what we want when we ask someone for something.
If you are reading this article, there are two chances. Either you wish to learn asking skills. Or perhaps you already know how to ask and wish to hone your practice. In both cases, it is a win situation. This article contains words for both. You need to know how to convince someone properly.
One of the chief reasons for failing is that people view talks as fight or flight. They think either they will convince someone at once or they won’t. The other reason for not asking properly is either arrogance or simply failure of rejection. Some people are too sensitive. They don’t like taking no for an answer. Therefore, they reject asking due to fear of rejection. Ironic, isn’t it? We often fail in developing persuasive speech.
People sometimes overlook the path of negotiations. While negotiations may not always bring the perfect results, they are perfect way for communication. And when working for long term with several people, negotiations provide the perfect middle ground. Why wouldn’t they? Negotiations have stopped wars and saved many lives possible.
In this article, several tips are given to hone the art of negotiations. Always remember it also depends on your relation with that person as well as your reputation. Certain other factors like psychology also come into play. Face to face chat may be much better than negotiations on phone. Similarly negotiations in soft and caressing voice may have deeper effect than coarse one. This is one of tips on how to convince someone. The art of persuasive speech is a fine skill to be learned.
All in all, we need to perfect the art of talking. I am not talking about everyday speaking. I am talking about talking in a subtle way with a purpose.
1. Nothing to fear except fear itself:
The fears are too many. Some may fear rejection. Some have worst nightmare of being punished emotionally for asking something even though situation has no way of leading towards it. Some people are simply afraid that they will be terribly humiliated if they ask some question.
While some of this is true. I agree that fear of rejection is something which keeps us from asking properly. However, always remember that this fear is reason why many great things are also away from our grasp. I absolutely understand the fear of humiliation and rejection. I am afraid myself in certain situations. However, I have also taken a lot of harm to myself because I let this fear guide me everywhere.
Let the fear go. It comes down to common sense. Where you know that asking something will only result in rejection, you will know. You wont be afraid. Rather, you will be using common sense. Similarly, where it is crucial to ask for something which may result in your benefit, it is worth taking a chance. Ask in a way that other person feels the benefit on both sides. Utilize strategy, logic and subtle art. Do not let fear get in the way.
2. Persuade yourself:
I bet many of us tried asking someone for something. We failed at convincing because the reason was not strong enough.
While it may seem like an odd thing, but convincing yourself actually makes a lot of difference. I will present an example of conmen. These people have convinced themselves that what they are doing will benefit them. They have made peace with fact that they can con other people. This creates confidence. This confidence makes them look genuine.
Similarly, no matter how genuine a thing is, you must convince yourself that it is your right to ask. You are not begging someone. You are a strong person who is asking someone for coordination in something.
You will need to avoid extreme emotions because the emotions uncontrolled will surely mess things up. People also don’t trust the types who are led by their emotions too easily.
The art of persuasive speech will start from you first. Tell yourself to be patient. You should be patient with yourself. You will not get what you want immediately, but you will definitely get it with right person. Persuade yourself that the reason is genuine and someone will see things your way and coordinate with you.
3. Organize the thoughts:
Suppose you have considered the upper two steps. You have overcome fear and you have also convinced yourself that this asking is genuine. Then what is next?
If you ask with unorganized thoughts, you won’t be very convincing. Suppose you approach someone with firm mind and proper intentions, you then start talking about weather and then about politics. Among these statements of irrelevant subjects, you add your purpose. The other person will get confused.
Organize your thoughts. Your discussion with the other person should follow a proper structure. If you mix your demand among mumbo jumbo statements, it will give impression that you are not serious about your demand. No one is going to take you seriously if you don’t take yourself serious first.
4. Ask from your heart:
There is grain of truth in asking from heart. When you ask from your heart, you will sound more genuine.
The art of asking genuine is to mix emotion with logic. Naturally someone will want to help you if your reasons are genuine.
There is another discussion hack. When you learn to be more grateful, you are on the receiving end. The gratitude is something which will always reward you. Whether it is universe or it is simply a person, thanking for conversation will always yield in positive results.