When it comes to social anxiety, our society does nothing to help. While you may see some measures being taken by general support groups, the overall support is negligible.
If you are someone who experiences social anxiety, I know how you feel. Being dependent on other people’s opinions is a harsh thing. Not being able to talk properly is another troubling factor. Apart from this, not being able to speak out even our genuine needs is something which needs consideration. We socially nervous people sometimes become so isolated, that it is hard to find someone who understands us.
The problem I often found with myself was that people are out there. Those who want to help us are really there. It is sometimes our own behavior which isolates us. No one is going to find us in corner. They may see our facial expressions and ask humbly about our condition. They get reply of “I am fine”. No one is going to pry forcefully. If they do, it social anxiety attack for us. If they don’t, well, back to our camp of isolation! Tough situation isn’t it! We need to know how to overcome social anxiety.
One of worst things that normally find us is usage of stereotypes. People are so prone to play the male female card. Even as a male, as I am writing this, people will imagine that a female is speaking to them by these sentences. This is because of so much programmed stereotypes. We have been fed the clichés of males being dominant and emotionless. Females are supposed to be dependent and face emotional issues.
To be emotional is like being a human. It is unnatural to not expect it from males. Even toughest of males may experience emotions. If they don’t, something is seriously wrong with their system. Similarly, the most delicate of females may experience moments of strength and courage. This is no big deal.
When it comes to social anxiety, it becomes hard for us as humans. I make no difference between males and females. Regarding problems, we humans face them.
Back to original topic, humans face social anxiety. The social anxiety may manifest in different forms. Although it manifests in both male and female, the way it affects us is different.
Social Anxiety in Males
Males become quite subjected to stereotypes when it comes to sensitivity issues. Our expressions are prone to criticism. Man up or similar phrases often cloud our judgment.
The important thing to remember is that like humans, we all cry. Males often don’t show up their emotions. This is considered sign of strength. However, this statement is often a fake one. Try walking into a bar or hotel and slap a male. See how quickly emotions surface up.
Social anxiety is the most made fun of in younger males. They are often dependent on females like elder sisters or mothers. They may develop habits which are strongly feminine in character. Regardless, they are males. When it comes to social anxiety, no one should be different.
We then have another class of males who are stronger and more masculine. Social anxiety is quite apparent as well as hidden. They avoid other people as well as social gatherings. Apart from that, they usually find it hard to intermingle. Due to their shyness, they bond with a few people, if any at all. Isolation can be quite apparent from their behavior. Need to avoid social gatherings is quite apparent in them. Both types of males must know how to overcome social anxiety.
Social Anxiety in Females
When it comes to social anxiety in females, the resemblance to males is strikingly similar. I guess the only difference is that of appearance or walking styles.
The females often experience isolation and bonding with a few people. They also avoid the parties or any other social gatherings.
Overcoming Social Anxiety
Social anxiety is prevalent within everyone. This is because as human beings, we are all prone such behaviors. In introverts, even when they hide their emotions, the social anxiety shows itself. We sensitive beings often get swept by wave of nervousness. Other than this, the fear of being behind everyone is also very real. Whether it is studies or other issues, we struggle to find our place. We often think that we are left behind or aren’t good enough. Even when we have friends, we may expect hostility. Especially if you are in unhealthy competitive environment, you will find hostilities even in closest friends. It is simply impossible to fully trust anyone. Read given tips. You will know how to overcome social anxiety.
I am sharing a few tips with you which helped me become more normal. They helped me calm my inner voices about being judged or left behind.
1. Not everyone is bored of me:
Due to anxiety, my conversations were often not very interesting. I was also a unique piece among so many. My interests were different. I therefore, often ended with short statements when talking with someone.
I soon found out that I was not the only one. Just because I do short talks, it doesn’t mean someone is bored of me. I also found that I thoroughly enjoyed some conversations more than other. They were often with my close friends. No one was going to think low of me. Later I adopted the belief that even if someone thinks low of me, let them.
2. No one gives a damn:
It was very beautiful realization. I loved self affirming again and again. No one cared about how I looked or talked. I soon realized people were too busy with their own opinions. Even if some talked about me, it was for a short time. I wasn’t particularly the center of attention. No one wanted to form opinions about me.
Everyone is often busy with their own life. Chances are very low that some one will judge you based on your shyness. Especially in college, the only think you will need to manage is work overload. No one is going to care about your introversion.
3. Being in the Moment:
Another liberating thing was being in moment. This is a great thing to control your thoughts. Whenever the thoughts of anxiety started to show, I would switch my attention to current happenings and surroundings. This was another wonderful thing I learned to let go of social anxiety.
Overtime, I became more confident and self reliant. I was able to form several close friendships with non judgmental people.
My advice to anyone who experience social anxiety is that you are not alone. Keep improving yourself and you will come out of it.