Raising kids – How to raise Mentally Strong Kids

14 Jan 2018 8

Raising kids is an art. Our kids hold the key to evolution. Not only the kids are advanced in their mindsets, they are also amazing learners.

 

Many parents do an amazing job of raising the kids. Some do not. The main reason behind poor parenting usually goes back to the grandparents and their traditions. The old mentality was to be satisfied with what we have. This prevented many problems. Not only this, in order to teach something to avoid, fear of that thing was induced in the child.

 

Now, the times are changing. Kids are getting better and stronger than their parents were as children. Although parents are adjusting themselves to the right type of parenting, there are still areas which need improvement. The most important area is that of balance. Not being too strict or too lenient gives the perfect training for a child.

 

In our busy lives, we don’t have much time for raising kids. Some housewives do manage to do their job as mothers, some are holding working jobs. Even still we influence our kinds when we are around them. The only solution in raising fine kids is to form such behaviors which will always yield good results. Our kids are influenced by us. Therefore, we are setting good examples if we start adopting these good habits for ourselves.

 

 

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1. Reject the Victim Mentality:

In this modern society, if there is one thing which is actively thriving, it is the competition. While some form of competition is healthy, it is taking toll on people.

 

The problem is not with competition. The problem is with lesson that this competition teaches. Often several children don’t focus on their own abilities. They instead focus on their peer’s progress and try to get ahead of them.

 

This leaves serious issue of victim mentality. When a child is not able to do such thing, that child only sees oneself as a victim.

 

There is another victim mentality which is produced. Often parents complain too much in front of their children. This complaining about government or other circumstances is going to build another victim mentality in child’s mind.

 

Both in a competitive environment and complaining, the child learns to place blames and expectations on factors outside of oneself. This results in victim mentality developing.

 

Try teaching the child the value of self-evaluation. Teach your child the worth of looking inside for solutions. Teach gratitude to children.

 

2. Don’t compare:

The comparison among siblings or other children is another destructive behavior. The children are sensitive. If they are constantly being compared to other children, they develop issues with their own personalities. They also start developing their own way of tackling such problems. Either a child becomes too much insecure. Or a child becomes too arrogant to find their own mistakes. Both these issues lead towards narcissistic approach.

 

Try cultivating self-worth in the child. Embed the belief of finding a solution within in the child.

 

 

 

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3. Be the Authority:

This is violated when parents become too lenient.  This is because either they have a first child or hold their children too dear. Whenever a child cries or demands something, the parents sometimes go out of their way to fulfill his/her wish.

 

This is right at certain times. Especially when a child has achieved something to be proud of, this thing is encouraging.

 

However, such behavior with constant practice develops another type of the narcissistic attribute in children. They become controlling more and more often. Other than this controlling behavior, they will turn on parents if their wishes aren’t always fulfilled.

 

4. Give them all the right attention:

The parents should always try giving the right attention to their kids. Often when parents get too busy with their lives, the children beg for attention.

This turns the tables on parents when kids grow up. They are so used to ignoring their mother’s or father’s attention that they develop ignorance to everything their parents say.

This is damaging to their personality on so many levels. First of all, they can never lead their lives as rich and prosperous adults. The reason is that they never had the chance to learn anything from their parents’ experiences. They are prone to making same mistakes and errors which their parents made before them.

 

5. Reject Fear of Change:

Often when we are trying to teach our kids something, we instill them with fear of certain things. Believe it or not, we are taking away their abilities to deal with problems on their own. Fear comes with rejection to change. The rejection to change leads to stop the evolution with the progressing world. This is because in trying new things, the children learn new things which help them.

 

Try instilling positive innovative behavior in them. Maintain a balance in them about what to stop about and what to promote. While fear of certain things like trying drugs or similar things should be induced, encourage them to take their own decisions of life. Guide them towards becoming better versions of themselves. Teach them to learn from their experiences. The fear of failure results in state of being unprepared for challenges of life. The challenges will come regardless.

 

6. Expecting right:

The kids are human beings. In trying to make them perfect, we often make them a worse version of themselves.

 

Our kids are human beings. They are not extension or reflection of ourselves. The kids are more like separate individuals looking towards us for guidance. It is our responsibility to guide them. There certainly will be imperfections. That is the real beauty. The imperfections will never go away because we are all human beings.

 

Appreciate them for who they are. If they are good writers or artists, don’t make them feel bad. The world won’t give a damn if your child becomes an average engineer somewhere. The world will however bow to your child if he/she manages to become professional of his/her own trade. Develop progressive intentions in your children. Help them grow beyond the norms of society.

raising kids raising children

Posted by

Awais Ali Shah

Awais Ali Shah

An artist at heart, I use my writing skills to fuel my passion for creative expression. The blogs I write always deliver my personal touch for the topic. Other than a passionate blogger, I am also a creative fiction writer.

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