Teenage Relationships: Is she too Demanding or Am I Mistaken?
A Story of a Boy and a Girl
When it comes to college life relationships, it can be a beautiful experience. Our spirit, mind, and body are growing. We experience a new turn of emotions that are deep. This phase of maturity leads to the realization of a longing for love and affection. That is often the root of college life relationships.
In my experience, although being a single all four years of college, I noticed dozens of relationships. Sadly most of them started with beautiful beginnings and dreamy intentions, went through struggling phases and ended, leaving both sides traumatic and doubtful in relationships.
Let me tell you a story about a boy and a girl who were perfect for each other. This boy always liked this girl. He was somewhat innocent, and she was somewhat bold. Their relationship started in the 2nd year of college when he finally found the courage to confess. The girl, who was looking for love, heartily accepted. Nothing is lovelier than finding someone who adores you with the core of their heart. She realized this and gave it her all.
As the days went by, they both became closer. However, where the love was growing, expectations grew without bounds as well. The girl was madly in love with the boy now. She depended on him. Despite her façade of strength, she was a girl after all. The boy loved having someone looking out for him. He deeply admired the fact that he had finally someone who could understand him. His lone life was now filled with some meaning.
It had been near two years since they had been in a relationship. They had been through struggles together, however, something was brewing. For this girl, she felt suppressed. Yet the feeling of having someone in her life overwhelmed this feeling. She often tried to hide it, thinking it to be wrong; however, she was a human being. She couldn’t help but feel being left out of so many feelings she needed to have. She felt like giving, always giving…
For this boy, the relationship had been going smoothly. He was having enough time with his friends. He had someone he loved to help him in academics. However, nowadays a tension was steaming as he had been receiving somewhat nagging behavior from his girl. The first time in all these years, she asked for his attention properly. He was surprised. For him, he felt as if a problem had occurred out of nowhere.
They both argued a lot. For her, he was giving a lot of attention and dedication to his friends. There were many times when she had proved herself to him yet he failed to show an even slightest bit of support. She had always been there when his friends had abandoned him. For him, she had been too demanding. Expressions of love and care were unimportant. What he believed in was true love and it wasn’t shown explicitly. She used the claim that he went out of the way to helping his friends. He retaliated by calling her jealous of his friends.
Unable to keep hold of their emotions, they both broke up. The boy took it as he had always taken it. She tried returning, however, he rejected her strictly. She gave up.
After she left, he felt left with a hole in his life. He wanted to share this with his friends. None of them could understand him the way she did. He was left alone.
What happened next is you can guess. Sadly this is the fate of so many relationships starting in college. None of the sides is gender reserved. What happened with girl happens to boys in a different version. Can you find any faults in their relationship? Are you sure you are not one of them? Here it may seem like I empathized with the girl. However, you must know this is the real case within my years of graduation. I had been a good friend of both sides. While I know the boy was a kind-hearted person, he had a few mistakes. Being a personal friend of both, I am not taking any sides.
The boy was accustomed to self-sacrificing his needs for those he called friends. He was a trust-worthy person. However, he took his own interests for granted. When he decided to include his partner in his life, he had the same attitude. Despite being an understanding partner, she felt deprived. He didn’t look within himself when calling her demanding. She wasn’t demanding. She was asking for simple expressions of love and support. He neglected those, not because he didn’t love her. It was because he was too focused on gathering stones, self-sacrifice that he forgot about caring for the gems. When she was gone, he realized her value.
What I am mentioning here is not to take sides of the boy-girl. I want you to realize the importance of expressions of love. Be careful not to make the same mistake as the boy here. Your partner doesn’t want your strenuous efforts to please him/her. If they require so periodically, they aren’t meant for you. No! What your true partner wants is simply your being. They want the realization that you are there for them.
Be mindful of your relationship. Be mindful of how you express your love. If you don’t, it will create problems. Sometimes relationships are not broken, they are bent. They can be fixed with affection. In such a case, the breakup is even more grieving. Be careful it doesn’t lead to that.